How to Forgive Pt. 2.
1. Understand that offenses are inevitable. Matt.18:7
○ Love is cooked into perfection in the fire of offense. Offense is necessary for love to mature. And that is why offenses are inevitable. In this life, you must be offended.
○ You cannot avoid offenses but you can choose not to take offense.
2. Learn how to interpret offense scripturally. 2Cor.10:5;
○ When you are offended it is because you received information by words, thoughts or action into your mind which you interpreted as antagonistic and detrimental to you. And that information stirred your emotions and you become offended.
○ You need to bring the word of God to bear on any information that enters your heart. The bible says we must screen every thought by the word of God.
3. Minimize the offense Matt.7:3; Anything your brother, sister or neighbor does to you should be seen as a speck of sawdust. The reason some of us a struggling to forgive is because we magnify the offense and blame it for every wrong thing that has happened in our lives. We hang our whole lives on that offense. And that is not true.
Tools to help in minimizing the offense
a. Put yourself in the shoes of the offender
b. Remember that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood. That means behind every offense there is a spirit. Eph.6:12; Rom.7:19
4. Magnify your role in the offense. Matt.7:3
○ Matthew 7:3 says you should see your role as a plank compared to your brother's speck of sawdust.
○ Accept some responsibility. Yes, Joseph's brothers betrayed him and sold him as a slave to Egypt but he shared some responsibility in creating the conditions that led to that by snitching on his brothers and not keeping his visions to himself.
5. Remind yourself that you have offended God and others too and may need forgiveness sooner or later. Matt.6:12, 14-15; Jn.8:7;
6. Find a blessing in the offense. For a child of God, there is no offense without a blessing in it. Gen.50:20; Matt.5:10; Rom.8:28; Col.3:3; . Some of the blessings that can be packaged into an offense or disappointment include
a. It could be a learning opportunity or teachable moment.
b. An opportunity to build character and resilience. Jam.1:2-4
c. An opportunity for love to triumph, to be generous.
d. An opportunity to share in the sufferings of Christ. 1Pet.4:13 2Cor.1:7; Rom.8:18
e. Anytime you forgive a deposit is made to your credit in heaven. Matt.5:11-12;
f. Offenses give God an excuse to bless you. Rom.12:19
7. Follow scriptural guidelines for resolving an offense. Matt.18:15-17;
a. Approach the person who has offended you alone and tell them their fault.
b. If the offender does not accept responsibility or the offense could not be resolved, then go again this time with a witness.
c. Where that fails then you can report it to the church for an intervention.
8. Report the offense to the Holy Spirit and hand it over to God. Jn.14:26
a. Gives you a platform to talk about the issue with an unbiased person who will not gossip about it to someone else and will tell you the truth.
b. Talking to the Holy Spirit will open the hurt or pain for divine healing and restoration which will make it easier to forgive.
c. Reporting the offense to the Holy Spirit sincerely will give us access to grace that will enable us to forgive.
9. Remember that forgiving the person does not mean they will go scot-free. God will repay. Rom.12:19; Ps.103:6; Lk.17:1-2
a. When David took Uriah's wife Bathsheba and killed him, although he was forgiven yet the sword never departed from his house. 2Sam.12:13-14
b. When Mariam spoke against Moses although Moses begged for her forgiveness, yet God punished her with leprosy for 7 days. Num.12:13-14
c. In fact, the Bible teaches that when you are kind to those that offend you or hate you; you are making their matter worse before God. Rom.12:20
10. Forgive yourself. Sometimes unforgiveness of others lingers because you have not forgiven yourself. 1Jn.3:20
11. Ask for the Baptism of the spirit of love and forgiveness. 2Tim.1:7
12. Manage your expectations. Offences must come therefore do not go through life being surprised at the failures of people. Ps.146:3
How To Recognize If You Have Truly Forgiven
1. When you stop blaming the person for your problems or situation.
2. When the memory of the offense does not hurt you anymore.
3. When you can pray for the person sincerely. Matt.5:44-45; Lk23:34; Acts 7:60; Job 42:10;
a. Jesus prayed for those that crucified him. Lk23:34
b. Stephen also prayed for those who stoned him to death. Acts 7:60
c. Job was restored when he prayed for his friends who had mocked and condemned him during his period of trial. Job 42:10
Misconceptions About Forgiveness
1. "You need an apology to forgive". No, you do not need an apology to forgive.
2. "Forgiveness means you must remain friends with that person". No Forgiveness does not mean you have to be friends with that person. You can forgive and love them from a distance.
Father in the name of Jesus, baptize me and every member of this church with the spirit of love and forgiveness; grant each one of us the grace to develop a forgiving attitude towards every offense that may come our way; supernaturally heal the heart of anyone amongst us who is still hurting from offenses and restore each one of us as we forgive and release everyone who has offended us in the name of Jesus. Job 42:10; Luke 23:24; Acts 7:60; 2Tim.1:7
Today is our covenant Day of Restoration and the mandate for your restoration from heaven shall begin to find expression in your life from today in the name of Jesus. Joel 2:25-26
Father in the name of Jesus, I make a demand on the anointing for my restoration and that of every member of this church, spiritually, physiologically, financially, maritally, destiny-wise, and otherwise in the name of Jesus. Job 42:10;
1. By the mandate of the word of God which abides forever I command the immediate restoration of your health, your strength, and your vitality in the name of Jesus. Any organ of your body that is not working right is hereby restored to the original factory setting to work as divinely ordained from today in the name of Jesus.
2. By the mandate of the word of God which abides forever I command the immediate restoration of your destiny and that of your children. Anywhere where you or your family have missed it in the journey of life, receive an immediate redirection to the right path, the right place, and the right people in the name of Jesus.
3. By the mandate of the word of God which abides forever I command the immediate restoration of your finances, your business, or your career. Whatever has been stolen, diverted, hijacked, delayed, or lost is hereby restored 7 fold in the name of Jesus.
4. By the mandate of the word of God which abides forever I command the immediate restoration of your relationships and marriages. Any marriage under any form of demonic siege is hereby restored in the name of Jesus. Any relationship necessary for your destiny that is struggling is hereby restored in the name of Jesus.
5. By the mandate of the word of God which abides forever I command the immediate restoration of your gifts, talents, abilities, and graces in the name of Jesus.
6. By the mandate of the word of God which abides forever I command the immediate restoration of your relevance significance and honor in the name of Jesus. From today you shall be sought after by greatness and by those you used to seek after in the name of Jesus.
7. By the mandate of the word of God which abides forever I command the immediate restoration of your peace, your joy and your passion for God, and the interest of his kingdom in the name of Jesus.
8. By the mandate of the word of God which abides forever I command the immediate restoration of divine favor, open heavens, and fresh fire over your life in the name of Jesus.